Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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