Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
