Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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