What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
