Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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