i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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