This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
