You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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