escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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