I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize