I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
