chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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