what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
