The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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