still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
