on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
