Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I need water and some morals
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize