mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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