if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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