she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize