dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
