possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
