Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
