At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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