Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
