so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
