my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
