No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
