Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize