so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
