Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
