so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
