I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize