erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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