Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
