okay pat passed out under dana's car
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
