you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
