I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
