that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
