Soap is not a condiment
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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