the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
