You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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