I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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