a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
