Pants 0. Shit 1.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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