I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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