just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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