2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
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