i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
