We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
