Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
