I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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