I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
