im having a threesome with these popsicles
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
