Someone shit on the floor
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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