There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
