Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
