wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
