made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize