Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
