well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
