Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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