yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize