who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
