The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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