Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I see more hoeing in ur future
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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