escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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