So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
