Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
