haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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