this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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