so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Houston, we have a blender
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
