i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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