dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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