i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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