So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
