so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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