Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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