found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
