yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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