fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
