id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
